What If We've Been Thinking About Gratitude All Wrong?

What if the greatest way to show someone you’re grateful for them is to invest in who they’re becoming?

As we enter November, I’ve been reflecting on the people who made this season possible. After bringing together 230 leaders from 48 organizations at Live2Lead South Florida, what stays with me most isn’t just what we accomplished. It’s WHO helped make it happen.

The colleagues who stepped up. The people who encouraged us. The ones who believed in what we were building.

It reminded me of something I believe deeply: gratitude shouldn’t just be something we express. It should be something we demonstrate.

And one of the most meaningful ways to demonstrate it is by helping someone grow—even when that person doesn’t report to us.

You don’t need a management title to develop people. You need intention.

SEE THEM. Notice a strength someone may not recognize in themselves. Instead of only thanking a colleague for finishing a task, tell them what their contribution reveals about their potential.

STRETCH THEM. Open a door. Make an introduction, invite someone into a new opportunity, or encourage them to try something they may not yet believe they can do.

SUPPORT THEM. Ask what they’re working toward. Share a lesson you’ve learned. Check back in. Small, consistent investments can make a lasting difference.

This month, think of one person you’re grateful for. What could you do—not just say—to help that person become who they’re capable of being?
It’s not what you build. It’s WHO you build.

Kelly Merbler
Founder & Principal, The Kelly Merbler Company
Drink coffee. Develop people.